We have traveled a lot this summer. We have had our vacation in CA, upstate NY, various places in CT, and I am sure there are other things that I am forgetting right now. While we have had a ton of fun, and have made a ton of memories, I have noticed one very disturbing trend. It is hard to comprehend, how complete strangers, people that have never met me or my family, can quickly judge or make comments about my family. It baffles my mind. Whatever happened to people being supportive of one another, or to ask if they are alright after they have watched your child slide across the pavement on their belly?
For instance, there was that gentlemen on the airplane, that had turned around and told me I should be buying him a drink for having to deal with my almost 2 year old screaming. It did not matter to him, that Dan and I were trying our hardest to calm him down, distract him, and entertain him. It did not matter that it was 9 pm and that we were sitting on a runway for 45 minutes not able to get up. He did not try to muster any compassion, or offer any suggestions to help. However, the woman next to him did offer to switch seats with him, and did remind him that we were doing a fantastic job with the situation we were faced with. Maybe this is what is becoming of society, but it baffles my mind that people can really be that callous.
Another example, is when Carter was trying to give a little girl in the library a hug. Carter is a love bug. Yes, he can be a bit tough sometimes, but it is usually not with ill intent. The little girl that he was trying to give a hug to was very petite, and Carter knocked her over. His face melted when they hit the ground, and he was trying to say sorry. However, the mother rushed in to her little girl (as is expected when your child is crying), and shot me a dirty look, as in what was I going to do to discipline my son. I was dumbfounded. It was like my child was being treated as a monster. First off, how can you honestly judge an almost 2 year old? I know I am not perfect and have acted in my defense on behalf of my children. However, at least talk to me before you judge me or my child.
While camping, people were actually callous enough to make comments about children being children. They were being too loud, or too whiny because they are overtired and haven't napped all day. I made a comment about a family that was letting their toddler run around the campground yelling and playing at 3 am. I was more upset that said child woke mine up. But there is a difference between letting a child be a child, and just letting them do whatever. Nobody should ever have to apologize or feel badly for their child being a child.
Societal expectations and gender stereotyping is another thing that is driving me bonkers. Yes, Dan and I built a fairy house for our boys to play with. They had read some books about fairies, and were intrigued. It was also an outlet for them to express themselves and learn how to use their imagination. The amount of people that made comments about how boys should not be playing with fairies, is ridiculous. Who cares if they even dress up as fairies and pretend to fly? They are kids, learning to pretend, building imaginations, and learning to play together. And yes, my boys play with dolls. It teaches them compassion and caring; they chose to have dolls. I did not make them play with them. They just want to learn how to care for something.
The final straw was a comment made to me about how I must be self centered, arrogant, and feel that I am better than everyone else because we have chosen to home school Pierce and Carter this year. First off, I should not have to justify myself to anyone for the decisions we make as a family. They are our choices. Secondly, again, what is with the judging? I have never felt that I was better than anyone else. In fact, it has usually been quite the opposite. I am not self centered; I simply am excited for the opportunity to home school my children, create lesson plans, and be the very best mom and teacher I can be. My life is my kids. Not 100%, just my kids, but certainly at least 90%. They will only be little just this once. They amaze me everyday, and this is why I talk about them so much. This is why I have this blog; so I can look back on the past with my boys and know that their dad and I have given them everything they deserve, and to see how fast they grew.
What I am getting at, is why can people not just support each other? Why must there be so much judging in society? Why do we feel we must constantly compare ourselves to others? Maybe I am just becoming a bit crunchy in my old age, but this is something that was really driving me bonkers lately. Hopefully, by the time my boys and I sit down and read this blog, things have changed. Maybe the world will go back to being a happy place with less judgement, fighting, dirty looks, and people will support one another. That would be amazing...and that is what I truly hope for. Let's all start now. Let's all take a minute to breathe before we say anything that is going to hurt somebody, or try to look at another angle before we judge. I certainly am not perfect. However, I can try everyday to become a better person. After all, trying is the least we can do.
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