365 Days of my Life: Can I have a re-do? Please? ***Updated 9/17 with pictures***

Today was the first day I truly felt like a failure for homeschooling the boys. I should have known not to even attempt it, considering the boys have massive colds, and I have had a headache since last night. But, against my own self judgement, I decided to attempt school anyway. And my lame reasoning? I didn't want to get them off schedule again.

Every morning we do school has been a challenge to convince Carter to come downstairs to the school room for our lesson of the day. He would rather stay upstairs where Papa is getting ready for work, where his room is, etc. He is not a morning person by any means, and it takes him a while to wake up. However, Pierce is the complete opposite and wakes up asking for school to start. Now. So it is a fine balancing act with these two boys. Once Carter comes downstairs, both boys can be side tracked by the various centers I have set up. It is not a large room by any means. But I managed to set up a dramatic play center, a kitchen area, craft table, desk, and then our morning circle. As of yesterday I had added a sensory table as well, and that proved to be a MASSIVE mistake. Not even a big one. MASSIVE. Both boys knew what was in there, and neither wanted to pay attention to me. At all. They just wanted to play with the colored and scented rice.

In retrospect, I cannot blame them. I mean it is a fantastic sensory experience, and this week we are learning about our 5 senses. At the time, I could not appreciate the fact they just wanted to explore. I wanted them to do everything I had prepped for, and I honestly became annoyed with them because they wanted to play. However, they did one activity with me; they did use the mirrors and the homemade face paints to decorate themselves. They were naming the different parts of their faces while doing it, and they had a BLAST. After that is when everything went downhill. To the point where I feel like I acted like a 2 year old, picked up all of my lesson planning stuff, and huffed upstairs leaving them downstairs to play.

Then I thought about my actions. And thought some more. And I felt horrible. So I went back downstairs and apologized. I will always be the first to apologize to my children when I have done something wrong. After all, they are learning from me. I explained that me huffing upstairs was not a great choice, since I should have been more understanding that they wanted to play and were not feeling the greatest. I then asked them what would make it easier in the morning to transition to school, and what would make it so that the toys were not a distraction. And this was the response I got from my overly intelligent 3 1/2 year old. "Move all the toys downstairs, and move the books and art upstairs. This way Carter doesn't have to go downstairs, and we cannot play with toys." Wow Pierce, I honestly did not think about splitting it up. I was so focused on having that perfect school room with the centers like you find in an actual preschool, that I lost my mind.

Both boys then asked for smoothie and a movie time, and I did not complain. I made them their favorite pumpkin smoothie, put on Little Einstein, and let them watch as much as they wanted. I never let them do that; but they obviously needed some down time. I got to work rearranging EVERY part of the house they are in, including their bedroom. I will post pictures once I finish doing the annoying cleaning parts, such as washing walls and such. But I have to say, this new layout is like a breath of fresh air. The computer room already had the shelving with all of our school stuff on it. I was bringing things downstairs for the week. So I chose that room as the distraction free room; they have books on the floor for them to peruse when they would like, the easel, and their alphabet carpet. This will be the room where we do books, morning circle time, and most of our crafts.

For their bedroom, I brought up the craft table (which is just a coffee table I had painted with chalkboard paint on top) and finally hung up the 4 mirrors I bought at Ikea. I had Pierce help me with that, this way I could make sure they were at the appropriate height. The mirrors may not be straight, but it is their room and their choice. And it looks kinda cool to have them not completely perfect. On the craft table I put simple choices for play. They love their maze, Noah's ark, stacking blocks, and a massive shape puzzle. That is it. Underneath is a basket that has their "electronics". The Lego table that was in their room is now downstairs with the rest of the toys. What is in their room is all they have for toys upstairs...well, minus the car mat and cars I put in their closet. They go back and forth with that, and I did not want to take a chance on any mildew downstairs.

The downstairs is surprisingly laid out well, and somehow much more open. And again, as an after thought, this was a good time to move things around. We have some cold weather coming in, so we will be starting to stack wood in the basement again. That would just be another distraction for the boys. And at least if they feel it is too hot, we can pick and choose what toys come up for the day. And only the day.

I was given a couple of hours of quiet and regrouping time by my awesome husband tonight once he came home. I went to our library and hid upstairs reworking lesson plans and also creating new ones. At this point I have them all laid out until Halloween. I got rid of the time in the book, and just divided our day by 5 different activities and ways of learning. I also reworked this week so I can have a do-over on today's lesson plan. I'm sorry Pierce and Carter for not setting a better example today. However, I am glad that we worked together to create an awesome space that you both love. Please sleep well tonight so we can have fun tomorrow.

And to everyone else, thanks for reading this. It made me realize by writing that bad days are certainly going to happen, and to not let it eat at me all night like it has all day.